Gluten Free Oatmeal Strikes Again

Dear person reading,

This was my angry face after my morning,

and it's all because of oatmeal and a book. Let me explain.

Instant oatmeal is supposed to be relatively easy. I know that, and I've made it plenty of times in my life to know how it's done. HOWEVER, I spent an ungodly amount of time this morning attempting to make oatmeal correctly, and it's 10:20 and I barely just finished eating breakfast. That's what I get for trying to eat healthy--I should have just made bacon like my heart wanted to!

Anyways, my oatmeal fiasco is a direct result of me being a 21st century women who doesn't know how to do things without technology. You see, we don't have a microwave at the moment. We bought our house, and it didn't come with one, so we ordered one (a beautiful, gorgeous, silky, black stainless one that will melt my heart when it gets here!) thinking it would be here in plenty of time for us to use in the new home. Well, we've been waiting weeks now for our microwave, and have been told it's sitting on a ship just outside the port! It's so close! But apparently, LG is in some lawsuit and they can't port in the US yet (????). I don't know, but regardless, we don't have a microwave AND I"M SUFFERING.

Also, my necessary gluten free lifestyle contributed to the oatmeal issues.You see, sometimes I forget that not everything in the house is gluten free, and sometimes I forget that things that SHOULD be gluten free, aren't, because of ridiculous "May contain gluten/processed on wheat processing equipment" statements on the packages--I'm talking about you, oatmeal.

So I woke up, and reached into the cabinet for some instant oatmeal, and since we didn't have a microwave, I decided to use the next best invention after microwaves: the Keurig! The oatmeal to water ratio was PRISTINE on this first batch, and the oats became the perfect gooey consistency that I was going for. Then I realized this oatmeal had strawberries in it, and I didn't have gluten free strawberry oatmeal, I only had bland unflavored gluten free oatmeal. I'd grabbed the wrong pack and had to dump perfectly perfect oatmeal away because it MAY contain gluten! GAH! My gluten intolerant intestine laughed maniacally at me as I did so.

Then on the next batch (I grabbed the right package this time), I pushed the Keurig hot water button and when I had the desired amount of water in my oatmeal bowl, I let off the button AS THE KEURIG DIRECTIONS SAY. The Keurig then proceeded to dump an extra ounce or maybe a gallon of water in the bowl, ruining the water to oatmeal ratio.

Second try:
You can't even see the oatmeal! 

I tried to hold my spoon on the edge of the bowl to keep the oats in while I poured the excess water into the sink, but then it did that infuriating thing where the water defied gravity and just ran down the edge of the bowl ALL OVER THE COUNTER. I  wiped up the brownish oat water (*bleck*) and tried a bite thinking I could suffer through, but it was not going to happen. I mean, oatmeal in its mushiness is hard to choke down sometimes even when it's made right.

Finally, I grabbed the correct oatmeal package, and pushed the water button just long enough for the Keurig to dump its extra water in my bowl to get the correct amount, and I ate my oatmeal. And guess what--it wasn't even that good. I think it was kind of old and a little stale. Plus, mushy. Why did I ever think to eat this in the first place? I made some eggs after forcing myself to finish the bowl out of respect for my own hard work this morning.

This was also about the time that I realized I left my current book at the middle school I subbed at last week. Horrible morning! I blame oatmeal for everything. I've gotta send some emails about missing books now, and who knows how many tries that'll take if it's anything like oatmeal!