In this epic young adult novel, you'll follow Regina and Brandon as they pursue an exciting kitchen adventure in the rainy, sun deprived Olympia, Washington. They'll experience hardship, rage, and an emotional rollercoaster propelled by exhaustion and fast food. At some points all hope will seem lost, but with the help of friends and some luck,plus 1 Bazillion trips to Lowe's, the haggard couple will come out the other side forever changed.
Chapter 1
Brandon and Regina walked through the empty house with big, naive eyes. It was in great condition, having been well taken care of since it's construction in 1989. There was a green yard for the dogs to run and play, a sprinkler system to keep said yard looking nice, and a beautiful garage to protect both vehicles from the rain. The price was right, and it would be fun to gradually update some of the dated hinges, doors, baseboards, and other small things here and there. Both were thinking the same thing--they wanted to buy this house. They went into the kitchen and it gleamed at them. It was clean and well maintained, but it would definitely need to be changed right away.
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| A well maintained, yet dated kitchen. |
"It's not so bad!" Regina exclaimed as she slid her hands across the salmon pink countertops from the late 80s. "We can just replace the counters, and the cabinets are in great shape." Her voice trailed off as she said this, realizing the stain on the cabinets wasn't very appealing.
"And some new appliances, obviously," Brandon added, eyeing the almond colored dishwasher and oven.
"Right. And I bet we could paint the cabinets white!"
"With dark appliances."
Their eyes bulged in excitement and they simultaneously jumped into the air, high fived, and shouted, "WE'LL TAKE IT!!!"
Somewhere in the distance, the kitchen reno fairies chuckled and prepared their evil pixie dust.
Chapter 2: Appliances Schmappliances
Regina and Brandon moved into their first home without delay. Moving was easy. Beginning to unpack went smoothly. And soon came the day that the Lowe's truck pulled up to the house on a Sunday morning with an oven range, a dishwasher, and a refrigerator in lovely black stainless steal. The microwave was ordered, but that's another chapter of its own.
Woe on this day.
The fridge was installed, and Brandon stood gazing at it with joy when suddenly, he didn't recognize it. The inside wasn't supposed to be that color. Where was the "showcase" door? Where was the slim drawer above the freezer to store deli platters and cheese plates?! THEY DELIVERED THE WRONG FRIDGE! Not only that, but the door scraped against the left wall when it opened.
That won't do. That won't do at all.
He picked up the phone and discovered that the boy with long eyelashes who put in the order at Lowe's messed up. The fridge that the young couple thought they ordered didn't come in the size they needed. AND NOW THE SALE WAS OVER! And to get the fridge they so desperately desired, a small wall to the left would need removed.
Brandon looked at Regina. She shrugged in dismay.
"Order the new fridge, and I'll come to the store to discuss the sale price with the manager," said Brandon into the phone. He hung up and then turned to his wife.
"Looks like we're knocking out a wall."
Regina smiled because knocking down walls on HGTV's Fixer Upper always looks so fun! #demoday
After quick fixing (at least in their heads) the fridge problem, Brandon and Regina proceeded to install the dishwasher. The hole was the perfect fit and slid in easily. Until, alas, it would budge no more! It was sticking out a good inch from where it needed to be, and the still bright eyed couple realized that the copper piping stuck out too far for the new fancy dishwasher to fit. The pipe stabbed the dishwasher in the back, literally, and stabbed the couple in the back metaphorically.
Brandon had to cut the pipe shorter, because why the heck was it even sticking out that much in the first place? And then to make sure it wasn't leaking they had to tape it up and then pull the dishwasher out of its spot every day or so to make sure there was no leak that would slowly rot away back there for the next 20 years. Luckily, Brandon was a great handyman, and there was no leak! The dishwasher was in, and there were only 3 more appliances, granite counter tops, and painted cabinets to cause problems and make Brandon and Regina wish they had never been born.
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Stay tuned for the following chapters on knocking out that pesky wall, painting those pesky cabinets, and the fiasco that new granite countertops caused for the once naive and bright eyed couple!
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